This week has been both intense and calm. I've felt fine and relaxed and then had the silliest thing throw me into a fit of annoyance and anger. Work was very difficult this week because of this. The moment anyone looked at me sideways, the switch would flip and I would completely fall apart. This is so unlike me. Or at least the me that I used to be. I used to be so calm and and it really took a lot to get me to lose it. Lately, unfortunately, it doesn't take much.
Today was a good day though. I had my two week follow up appointment at the doctor, who pronounced the miscarriage just one of those things. She didn't find any reason in the pathology to suggest that it was anything but "nature's way" or "what was meant to be" or any of the other catch phrases that I have become aquainted with. I now feel a peace that I haven't felt in the last two weeks. I feel more ready to get on with the next part of our lives and I'm trying not to feel guilty for doing it. T and I signed up for a 5 mile race on Memorial Day weekend. We're plotting an anniversary getaway to Chicago. We're deciding on the Montreal curling tournament trip. (Don't ask) In short, we are taking baby steps to try and get back to our life and the things we love. Which is most of all, each other.
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